Tales and Musings

nattering away in the back booth of a pub...

Journal Info




September 11th, 2007

music and such...

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I've been feeling music deprived lately, hence my requests for various song files. I'd just about decided to get this pay service that a lot of people said was pretty good, but I still can't afford stuff like that just yet. Three bucks is still a gallon of gas, rather than a minor indulgence, but not for long :)

So, yesterday, I downloaded bearshare - you can find 'em at http://www.bearshare.com/ I was ambivalent about doing so, because I used to use it several years ago, and ended up killing it off my 'puter because of the adware and spyware. Which took AVG about six seconds to fix, but still... The new version (6.1) has no icky hidden files. It's short to download and set up. There are megatons of music files, video files, etc, available for download, and I personally increased the number of music files on my hard drive from 326 to 607 in less than two hours. More like an hour and twenty minutes, not counting search time. It downloads FAST. *does lil twirl of happiness* I'd've done more, but, you know...I have to sleep at least once a day whether I want to or not.

Plus, there's this nifty feature that I love so very much. Say you search for 'Paradise by the Dashboard Lights' by Meatloaf. A lil box at the top of the screen allows you to download the entire Bat Out Of Hell CD, in the correct track order, if you want to. How convenient is that? I ended up with six or seven full CD's, plus a bunch of obscure Indigo Girls songs that I already have on CD (wanted a backup, in case I break 'em or something), and a song by Jewell called "Love Me, Leave Me Alone", which is nearly as good of a 'fuck you' song as the one by Panic! At the Disco. At one point, she shrieks the chorus, which made me laugh.

Then I got a whole bunch of other stuff that I actually like to listen to when I'm in a good mood *g*. You can search in fairly vague terms, too. I wanted the theme song from Charmed, so I typed in 'charmed theme' and it was right there. It's by Love Spit Love, but the title eludes me at the moment. 'Where Is Now?' maybe? I dunno. Good song, though. I found some Nickleback, some Joan Baez, some Joni Mitchell, some Sophie B. Hawkins (Damn, I Wish I Was Your Lover) a buttload of Metallica, Cream, Chicago, Boston, Melissa Etheridge, Heart, Cat Powers (indie chick, interesting voice - check her out), some jazz and blues miscellany (for a certain UnEvil OverLady's coming natal day), and I'm not even close to done. At one point, I had four thousand unique tracks on my hard drive. I want 'em back. *le sigh*

My daughter is appalled that I listen to 'her' music. *snickers* She'll learn to cope.

I woke up this morning, got out of bed, and nearly froze to death. Not really, but it was FIFTY EIGHT degrees here. Autumn is definitely upon us (even though we hit eighty degrees this afternoon). There's a bite in the early morning air, the colors are crisper and sharper than they have been since May, the birds are fleeing, the raccoon family is building a den or something just inside the woods, and leaves are drifting to the ground almost before they change color. Two more weeks, and they'll be bright yellow, burnt orange, and vivid scarlet. And the grounds crew for this complex will still not have picked them up.

Witchy Stuff )

Heh. Mandy ended up adopting a pair of kittens yesterday. She called to tell me about it, and I'm going over there tomorrow to help her settle 'em down - and have dinner. She cooks! I cook too, but still...it's nice to know she can cook. She is so excited about being a new staff member for the kitties - it's totally cute, and we had a lovely talk while I fought traffic on my way home from work.

The kittens are adorable - a brother sister pair, but they don't look alike at all. The girl is silvery blue with slate blue eyes, and the boy is black with hazel eyes. Both of 'em are long skinny domestic shorthairs, though, so hairballs will be minimal. I remember these two; they're pretty well behaved and probably won't destroy her house. Much. I'm taking kitten treats for the feline residents, and a bottle of wine for us to share :)

Ran into an old friend this morning at QT...in Westport, of all places. That's where I work (Westport, not QT), but nowhere near where I live, or where my friend lives. I was running late and needed coffee desperately, so we didn't have time to chat, but we did exchange phone numbers and email addresses, so I'm hoping to renew that friendship, too. I used to work with Vicky, about *thinks* nine years ago or so, and she's Dianic Wiccan (I used to be, till I went mostly solitary about ten years back) so I'm looking forward to making/having another friend to talk pagan stuff with. *makes note to email her before I go to bed tonight*

I'm so behind on the F-list it's not even funny. I owe comments like whoa (and a couple phone calls, too), and there's eleventy bajillion links I have saved to read. If I haven't got to yours yet, it's not for lack of interest, honest. It's all about lack of time. *sigh* I'm gonna try and get partially caught up in a minute.

I hope everyone's having a lovely week, and enjoying the cessation of heatwave, if it's leaving your area. Watch out for hurricanes and birds running rampant, k?

*hugs you all*

August 11th, 2007

Pimpin' like mad

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A Severus Snape/Harry Potter Anonymous Holiday Exchange

What is the Snarry Holidays Fest?

Snarry Holidays is an anonymous holiday gift exchange fest for Snape/Harry fans on InsaneJournal. Participants will give and receive art or fic centered around the Snarry pairing (slash, pre-slash, or gen).

Please feel free to friend or join the community!

Sign-ups begin August 21st!


It's possible I may not be online much in a week or so, depending on how various situations play out. If that happens, I'll be using dial-up for the interim, thus won't be here much because dial up takes forever, and one thing I'm losing with my job and a half is time on the 'puter. I'll manage time for email, probably, and that's about it. However, sometime in September, I will be back. So if I disappear, don't flip. Those of you who have my cell number can always get 'hold of me.

It's my intention to sign up for snarry holidays. Even if I'm not here, I'm determined to write something in plenty of time for the submission date.

Work was good; really good, in fact. It was fun, and not as messy as I'd thought. I'm glad to be going back tomorrow :)

M'tired now, so am going to veg out, read the flist and be still awhile. Oh, and do the love meme thing on Eey's journal :)

February 27th, 2007

There's a story lurking in the comments section

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of my previous entry. [info]imkalena came across a prompt I left for [info]schemingreader awhile ago. She liked it, and wrote a Harry/Remus that will knock your socks off, even if you're barefoot - it's poignant, and the conversation between them is so real it made me sniffle. I have no idea how to link to a comment, but it's the last four or five comments in my entry from 2/23. Go read, and tell her how marvelous she is, yeah?

RL whining - wow, I'm doing that a lot lately - sorry )

February 6th, 2007

*baaing like a sheep*

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Create your own visitor map!

That map thingy'll be interesting to peek at over the next few days, I suppose.

real life ramblings )

October 27th, 2006

Random Thought from the Peanut Gallery

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My youngest child is snuggled up next to me, watching 'Scary Movie 2'. Apropos of nothing, she commented, "Voldemort has no nose, Mom. Can't Ginny just cast a Bat Bogey Hex at him?"

Me: "What?"

Her: "A Bat Bogey Hex would kill Voldemort, wouldn't it? He's got no nose."

Me: *thinks about that a moment* "Can a being with no nose produce boogers? Maybe the spell would use the squishy parts of his brain. Ginny should try it."

Her: "Send a note to JKR, Mom."

It's lovely to share hobbies with my children.

ETA: I am procrastinating on my Harry/Remus unapologetic smutstory. It's seven hundred words thus far and nobody's naked yet. I'm impatient. So is Harry. *snicker*

ETA the second: I'm up to eighteen hundred words and Remus just got naked.

October 6th, 2006

Gay Rights - No! Not the effing meme, k?

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Finally, I was able to organize my thoughts. As usual, I wasn't planning on it; it just kinda spewed in a comment on someone else's journal.

I dislike that meme and haven't posted it. It was worded rather the way I imagine the Gestapo would have worded some of their directives, back in the day. First, I loathe the term 'gay rights'. We're not asking for rights that nobody else has. We're asking for the same rights everyone else already has.

Specifically, from my point of view, the most important right (that I don't have at this point)is the right to legally marry the person of my choice. The government says my choice is limited to men. That's unacceptable to me, as I'm a lesbian. Granted, I have a rather specific, personal view of 'gay rights'. If I wasn't gay, I might not feel so strongly about marriage rights, but I am, so I do. Having been married to a man previously, the differences between 'legally married' and 'not legally married' are starkly evident to me. I realize there are other rights that are just as important, and I'm in favor of those rights being extended to us, too. It's just that the marriage thing hits me where I live.

I'm delighted to know that so many people on my f-list are in favor of equality for all people. It warms the cockles of my cranky and antisocial little heart. Seriously.

Here's what I think about equality for LGBT people, as posted to a comment in [info]wolfiekins's journal.

That meme worked a nerve on me, too. I didn't post it. If people can't figure out from my profile (and my charming icon *g*) that I'm in favor of equal civil rights for all people, I probably don't want to know 'em. I did post a nifty banner I found as a result of said meme, but that's it.

It's easy to get frustrated over the seeming lack of progress on the civil rights front. But think about it a minute. Stonewall happened in 1969, just before my second birthday. That's where I (and most historians) mark the beginning of the fight for 'gay rights'. I hate that term, and prefer 'equality for LGBT people' in its place, but you know what I mean, yes? In thirty seven years we've come a very long way. The LGBT community has gone from being the people that self styled 'decent folk' never ever talked about or acknowledged the existence of to being a pervasive presence in the world; in politics, in business, in economics, in popular culture, in slash fanfic *g*, and almost everywhere else you look. Hell, some denominations of Christianity even accept us, and we have our very own denomination, too. We can marry in many places (OK, about ten countries, maybe less) around the globe, and it's no longer illegal in the US for a person to be homosexual, by virtue of the United States Supreme Court ruling in 2003.

It took a hundred and two years from the end of the Civil War in 1865 to the end of the ban on interracial marriage, handed down by the United States Supreme Court (Loving vs Virginia) in 1967. Before 1967, the United States had a patchwork of interracial marriage laws, varying from state to state, much as we have now for gay and lesbian marriage/domestic partnership laws. It took longer than a hundred and two years for there to be significant gains in racial equality; we were well into the seventies before there was anything that even approached true equality going on there. I think we're doing things backward, but it seems to be working. Thirty five years ago, nobody would have blinked when Matthew Shepherd was killed. Thirty five years ago, anyone who publicly came out of the closet at a press conference would have likely been stoned to death. Then lynched to be sure the stoning worked properly.

Are we done fighting? No. Will we ever be? Not until I can legally marry my wife in every state in the Union and every country in the world. Commitment ceremonies are well and good and they serve a purpose, but until I get the same tax breaks every other married couple gets, we're not equal. I can approximate the rights and responsibilities of marriage...with two thousand dollars worth of legal documents. Even then, we still can't file joint tax returns. Even then, if the authorities so choose, she's not considered my legal next of kin. Even then, I can be banned from her hospital room, not notified if she's in an accident. Even then, I can only add her to my health insurance, and vice versa, if the company I work for is enlightened. Even then, her family could swoop in and take over (if they weren't terrified of me) if she passed away before me (unlikely, as I'm older, but possible). Even then, my parents could have chosen to fight me for custody of my children, and won, when our relationship was made public. Until all those things, and many many more, are no longer true, we're not equal. But we're getting there, much faster than anyone ever anticipated.

I think that's what pisses off the Religious Reich so much. Despite their best efforts, and their undeniable ability to prevent us from legally marrying one another at this time, they're still losing their fight. Badly.

September 20th, 2006

New Toy and Questions thereof

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I have a relatively new toy - a cell phone. Whee. My children insisted. Then my wife insisted. So I have one. I can make and receive calls, which I actually knew how to do before *eyeroll*. My daughter put a ringtone of a song I really like in the memory, so it plays whenever the phone rings.

Where can I get more of those, without asking her and looking like a moron? Are there, dare I hope, free sites for such things? I sorta know how to go to the website and buy some, but if there are free ones floating around out there, that'd be nifty. I don't mind paying for one I really like, you understand, but free is sort of my favorite price.

Does anybody know of any sites where I can procure ringtones? Thanks in advance.

September 8th, 2006

Myspace.com is taking over the world

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cut for personal stuff )

July 25th, 2006


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Hi everyone :)

I'm still not feeling particularly well, but I've conceded to the likelihood that I'll probably live. I caught the flu almost as soon as I got home from the hospital, which didn't help at all in terms of recovering from UAE.

I've been reading a LOT of genfic, 'do-over' fic, time travel and het pairings lately, when I read. I just read a wonderful Snarry by [info]lilyeyes and I encourage all of you that enjoy Snarry to go to her journal and ask to be added to the filter - it's good stuff.

My writing has been centered on my original fiction, but I've an idea outlined for a Harry Potter genfic that just might work, if I can get it together enough to write the blasted thing. Writing's been a rather low priority lately, because pain pills make me woozy and unable to think clearly. *snort* One more idea in my huge pile of unfinished fics.

Anyway, in my travels, I've become interested in Harry/Bellatrix stories, where the pairing is romantic or mentorish. If you know of any, please link me. Specifically, I'm looking for links to the following: Earl of the North, and The Redemption of the Black Sisters. If anyone knows of an archive for Harry/Bellatrix, point me that way, please?

Still interested in Harry/Tom and Harry/Voldemort stories, too. I blame [info]grazhir for this. And Sushi, who wrote a couple of very funny Harry/Voldemort stories. Funny is fine, romantic is fine - no non con stuff, though, please. I'm delicate.

Thanks :)

June 14th, 2006

Icon Question

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Does anyone make them? If so, and you're amenable, I have a request. I'm not terribly picky about the background, but it probably should be Slytherinesque. I'd like the text to read:

For all your World Domination needs
ask about our megalomaniac discounts

I have a vision of a Wal-Mart sign in the background, but that may not be possible. I went to Wal-Mart today for cat supplies and thought perhaps the WW needs a Voldie-Mart.

Are there icon communities where a person can post requests?

In other news, I'm writing that story with the newborn baby in it. OK, I'm doing research on the Lexicon and writing and rewriting the opening, because it involves magic theory, which I am generally pants at, but it's getting better. Sort of. I'm still rather unhappy with it.

I have a bunny to write wherein Snape lists all the reasons he'd never, ever, ever shag Lupin. He means it, too. My vague idea is that Harry is shagging Lupin and Severus is pissed because now he'll never get a piece of Saviour arse, but I'm not sure how that's gonna go. I've got the opening scene written; doesn't look like it'll be very long, but I'm hopeful that it'll at least get finished. At some point.

I got Draco, my snooty Pureblood kitty boy, back from the friend I'd given him to. He took exception to her taste in furniture, evidently, and shredded a quilt, a set of lace curtains, and her couch. All by himself. She brought him back to me instead of tossing him in the pound, which was kind of her. I helped her fix her quilt and recover her couch - the curtains were a dead loss. We're all content now.

Snape (the cat) has taken to sleeping behind my pillows, and yowling when I lie down for a nap. Snarky git. Kayla, the oldest girlcat, has taught him to enjoy playing fetch like she does, so I spend a couple of hours a day reading fics and tossing cat toys for them to retrieve. I never thought those two would get along, as she was undisputed Queen of the Castle when he arrived, but they make tolerable playmates for one another.

Does anyone else's cat like to play fetch? It seems like such a canine thing to do.

May 17th, 2006

Boring personal stuff inside

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my visit to a new gyno )

April 27th, 2006

Wow, I have so much to catch up on

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It's been a really BAD week in most ways. However, things might just be improving; we'll see.

Read more... )

March 21st, 2006

Idle musings

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I have not posted anything, fiction or otherwise, in about a month. This disconcerts me. I'd got used to writing something and posting it regularly. It's not actually due to lack of creative output; I've been writing, but not in the HPverse. I've been doing quite a bit of beta work, too - on [info]florida_minxie's 'Come What May' which was absolutely amazing to work on, and on [info]lanisfanfiction's Harry/Draco stories.

You could call what I've written lately original fiction. Or you could call it lesbian erotica. Or you could call it idle fantasies. Whatever. It's fiction, and contains two or more female characters that bear no resemblance to Hermione or Ginny. I'm enjoying it, but I really want to finish my HP stuff. I miss it. Is that wierd?

You'd think, after having devoured the GoF movie as I have, that I'd be a quivering mass of Snarry or other pairings. Even my eldest daughter, who used to laugh when I declared that Harry was queer, agrees with me that GoF was a seething mass of boy on boy hormones. I've a couple of pieces I'm working on, but I lack the inspiration, at this moment, to continue them. I'm going to put excerpts up here, under the cut, in hopes of inspiring myself to finish them. Perhaps assigning titles and rereading while I decide what part to excerpt will spark something.

here, there be excerpts )

Anyway, that's what I'm working on, or rather, would like to be working on.

February 1st, 2006

Nicked from <lj user

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Ground Rules: The first player of this "game" starts with the topic "5 Guilty Pleasures" and people who get tagged need to write an entry about their 5 Guilty Pleasures as well as state this rule clearly. In the end, you need to choose the next 5 people to be tagged and list their names.

I'm cutting this due to the somewhat licentious nature of my answers. Blessed Imbolc to those who celebrate.

I had to give this some degree of thought, as guilt is an emotion largely alien to me. I don't 'do' guilt particularly well. I've fought enough battles and been through enough crap in my life that I consider my hard earned domestic tranquility to be a reward of sorts. People would like for me to feel guilty about that; I can't be arsed to oblige 'em. I enjoy my pleasures and attempt not to hurt other beings in the pursuit of them, so I don't think of them as 'guilty'. Having said that, there are some things I do that are goofy, and pleasurable. Perhaps they'll fit the bill.

My Guilty Pleasures )

I tag:


January 12th, 2006

From the 'What was I thinking?' files

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This is only a little bit Potterverse related and has nothing at all to do with the subtle science and exact art of story making. It's just a lil vignette about an ill considered decision I made today that I'm likely going to regret deeply at some point in the immediate future. Possibly in the next five minutes. Deep sigh. It's Draco and Snape's fault. Honest.

What was I thinking? )

January 6th, 2006

Random Musings

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Yeah, so it took me half an hour to find a new theme for my journal. I think I like this one.

I spent this morning working on a new story. I'm underwhelmed with my progress, but fairly happy with the story so far. Then I cleaned out my 'haven't read these yet' favorites folder. I'm distinctly underwhelmed with the stories I was saving up to read later and deleted half the links. I think I need a change of scenery or something. I'm restless, bored, at loose ends, etc. Blargh.

Hey, I just figured out how to change the icon thingy for individual entries. Off to play with that a bit - grin. I'm easily entertained, sometimes.

December 12th, 2005

Will the real Harry Potter please stand up?

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*snicker* I don't often do employee screening and such for my wife, and when I do it's not something I do an entry on, cuz it's boring, but this one...was not boring. My wife manages a restaurant; employee turnover is high because, well...it's a restaurant. Kids come and kids go, doing a couple weeks or months of waitressing or bussing or hostessing with little thought to the future. Restaurant work is easy to get and easier to leave behind for a 'real' job.

A week or so ago, she was interviewing cooks and tearing her hair out because she was having trouble finding one that wanted to hold down a job longer than a month and that would consent to working nights full time. I went to visit her that fateful evening and indulge in a spot of people watching. I settled myself in a corner, coffee at hand, and was idly writing various phrases that came to mind. She swooped down on me the second she realized I was there and dropped a HUGE pile of applications in front of me.

"Go through these and pull out anybody that has actual experience, pretty please, darling. I'll set up interviews later." she instructed me with a hopeful smile. I obliged, since there weren't many interesting people to write about that night. I'd missed the drag queen couple that comes in every night because neither of them cooks. I'd missed the pretentious 'performance artist' chick whose got a poem tattooed on her arm. The other colorful individuals that frequent the place had evidently decided to cook for themselves that evening.

The third application I picked up was from one Harry Potter. I blinked and read the application more thoroughly. Seriously. Harry Potter. Right there at the top of the application. Moreover, he had a couple of years experience and wasn't asking for more money than the budget allows. Yippie! She had to interview this guy. I had to meet someone with such a famous name. I picked out a couple more hopefuls, but was really hoping this Harry Potter person would be the one.

We discussed the candidates I'd chosen and, being sweet, I volunteered to set up the interviews. As luck would have it, Harry Potter was available right then. He showed up about half an hour after I'd spoken to him on the phone. I nearly choked on my coffee. I was somehow expecting a short scruffy teenage boy with messy black hair and impossibly green eyes.

Didn't happen. I don't know why I was even surprised. This Harry Potter is a thirty five year old chubby Haitian guy with a delicious accent, a gold earring cuff (alas, not in the shape of a snake), melted chocolate eyes, a wide friendly smile, and a lil five o'clock shadow thing going on. He's intelligent, funny, and he has read all the Harry Potter books. He plays the video games too. He's married to a woman and has two children a bit younger than my own. He's fun to talk to. He knows what a hippogriff is, and thinks it's hilarious that I write slash fanfic.

He was familiar with the menu already, having eaten in my wife's establishment several times. She asked him some technical questions and I assume he answered correctly. He said he was looking for a steady position that wouldn't interfere with his family life. He WANTED to work evenings...miracle of miracles. Needless to say, my wife hired him on the spot, after a bit of judicious reference checking.

He's a good cook; talented even. He's quick and tidy. He's organized and has a way with food. Magical, he is not. Except when he makes french toast.

November 12th, 2005


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OK...I don't claim to be perfect at this writing business. If I were, surely I'd be getting paid for it by now. If I could bestir myself to write something using original characters that isn't blatently pornographic. Then if I was brave enough to submit it somewhere and some fool editor actually liked it. Still...most people can get through my stories without their eyes bleeding. A normal person would feel encouraged by this and would then turn feverishly back to the computer and write even more. Right? Nahhh. I seem to write less these days than I did in the beginning when nobody paid attention at all to lil ole me. Very odd, that.

It's Friday night. I have nothing to do. I'm not sleepy, for once. The middle of the night is generally my time to write, so it should not surprise me that I am alert right now. My house is clean and the bills are paid. This is my job, to take care of these things, since I don't go earn the bacon these days. My children are sleeping, my wife is at work; even the cats are somnolent on the bed. No distractions. No new Snarry to slurp up (OK, one, but I have to go hunt it down). I should be writing fiction.

I have two multi chaptered fics in progress that are unposted anywhere as of yet, because I keep revising them, and coming ever closer to the snarky Snape I WANT to write. I have high hopes for one of 'em, and medium hopes for the other.

I have a series of stand alone stories in progress. Draco hates them, but he'll get over it. I have six shorter stories, unchaptered, in progress. That's only my potterverse stuff. I have a couple of Xena things that are zinging around my computer, too. I have some original and possibly very bad fiction staring at me from the peanut gallery of the hard drive, too. In short, there's more than enough to keep me occupied. I don't wanna write any of it at this moment in time. Sigh.

I'm gonna go hunt down some inspirational stories to read. Maybe then I'll feel like writing.

UPDATE: Yippie...made progress on the difficult fic from Hades...We're at chapter eight now. Grin. A couple more revisions and I might have it finished this month. I am not not not posting it till it's done and I'm reassured that my Snape doesn't suck.

November 9th, 2005

On hypocrisy and hatred

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OK, normally I don't get upset (much) over the whole 'gay people aren't quite human so let's deny them the same civil rights everyone else has' thing. I have what I want in life, I donate to the appropriate organizations that can advance gay rights, and I vote responsibly. That's all I can reasonably do at this point, as I'm unwilling for my wife and I to be the poster girls for same sex marriage in Missouri. Illinois might be a different story, if we indeed move there.

The Texas legislature has managed to make me ill...again. Their Proposition 2 has passed, thus invalidating a bunch of domestic violence protections and pointing out that same sex marriage is just not going to happen there. Marriage does not require a legal recognition in order for it to be marriage. All this posturing doesn't deny us marriage. It denies us equal legal protections for the marriages we already have.

Let me explain, if you can bear with me. There are two distinct components to marriage as it exists today; the religious blessing part and the legal rights part. We're currently being denied the legal rights part BECAUSE the religious reich in this country cannot differentiate between the two. They haven't the wit or the intellect to do so. Nor do the sheeple that follow them. That's unfortunate. It does not change the fact that my wife and I are married, and will remain so. It does not change the fact that we went through $2500 worth of paperwork to approximate the rights and responsibilities of marriage by way of wills, durable powers of attorney, custody agreements that are ironclad (because all involved parties signed them) and various property maneuvers. We're lucky - we can afford all the rigamarole. We have the rights that religious bigots try so hard to deny us, except when it comes to tax returns, and that actually works in our favor.

I can walk into half the churches (roughly) in my city and speak to the ranking clergyperson there and make arrangements to have a 'Civil Union' ceremony performed, no problem. I can arrange for the appropriate religious blessing to be bestowed upon us. In fact, I have. We're so sappy, we renew our vows every five years. The words are the same, the intent is the same; it's a marriage ceremony with a different name given it to satisfy the congregation that somehow a Civil Union is distinctly different from a marriage. Codswallop.

We have Episcopalian churches, three of them; all perform same sex marriage ceremonies without fuss and the unions are recorded in the church records, same as anyone else's would be. Some Methodist, Presbyterian, UCC, MCC and various other churches will also perform a similar ceremony. The Baptists, for the most part, won't. Likewise the Catholics, although there ARE Catholic priests who will bless your union as long as the location of the ceremony is somewhere other than a church. These priests, at great personal risk, perform a service for those gay people who are staunchly Catholic.

To hear a religious bigot talk, if a church blessing is given by a priest or minister, then it's valid. Fine. I've had an Episcopalian ceremony with all the trimmings, including happily tearful parents in the front pew (mine, not hers - her father doesn't cry; acquiring two goofy brothers in law whom I adore and a sister in law I truly detest; and an embarassing, noisy and deliciously amusing reception at a nice hotel after. Obligatory beach filled honeymoon followed, sans children. It was glorious.

My wife wanted it, we did it. She'd never been married before, and wanted all the trimmings, stating that it was the ONLY time she intended to marry, and she WOULD show off proudly to our family and friends. We accomplished that in spades. I wore the dress; she chose a tuxedo, because she's not a dress wearing lesbian. Grin...not counting our wedding night, when she wore...never mind. My children, now our children, were adorable little flower girls in rainbow silk dresses (I'm such a drama queen, but I could not resist the symbolism). I'm a bit older than my wife, and had already been married and divorced once. Learnt my lesson there; I'm not meant to spend my life with a man. Most miserable three years of my life, that was.

My youngest child was barely walking when we did it the first time, and required a much larger dress when we did it the second time. The third time will be interesting; both daughters will be dating or married or some such. I've often reflected that it's almost a given that our girls will marry level headed, down to earth men, simply by virtue of the fact that their parents are a lesbian couple and some guy who's not around very often. Being invited to meet with parents will likely make any incipient bigots turn tail and run.

I digress. My point is: we're married. We share a checkbook, a bed, a kitchen, bills, trips to the vet and pediatrician. We share a remote control with equanimity. We fight, we fuss, we make up, we make love (yeah, not as often as we'd like, with two kids, but...), we sleep, we worry about our children, we alternate holiday plans and family visits. We attend school conferences and extracurricular events, together. We socialize with our friends, we decide together how much we're going to donate each year, and to whom. We bought, decorated and furnished our home together and both our names are on the deed. At one point, we even had the dreaded suburban mini van to haul children around to various activities in.

When she's gone out with her pool playing buddies and has a bit too much to drink, I hold her head while she rids herself of it and comfort her. Admittedly, this doesn't happen as often as it did before she turned thirty, but it happens now and again. It's all right. When I'm ill, which is often, she takes care of me and fusses till I'm about to go mad via solicitousness. She knows precisely how much I can take of being coddled and gives me what I need, then backs off a bit so I can breathe.

I don't work, at the moment (wretched illness). This has not always been the case. When the children were small, it was more often her working part time or not at all while I pursued the American Rat Race. Either way, it doesn't matter. We manage to have enough, and we're equal partners. We don't have roles, other than the fact that she refuses, flat out, to wear a dress in public. We're just two people who love each other to distraction and who have promised to spend their lives together. We're married. Unique unto ourselves, just like every other married couple.

I do not understand a nation that claims to be the bastion of individual freedom claiming that some people have the right to marry one another and some people do not. Surely equal rights means equal rights for ALL people, not just the heterosexuals. I have hope; the young people of this nation seem to understand how wrong much of my generation is. At some point, I'd like to have that piece of paper that gives legal recognition to the fact that my wife is, indeed, my wife.

I found what's below in someone else's journal. It illustrates the hypocrisy of our nation quite well, I think.


01) Being gay is not natural.
Real Americans always reject unnatural things like eyeglasses, polyester, and air conditioning.

02) Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hanging around tall people will make you tall.

03) Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy behavior. People may even wish to marry their pets because a dog has legal standing and can sign a marriage contract.

04) Straight marriage has been around a long time and hasn't changed at all; women are still property, blacks still can't marry whites, and divorce is still illegal.

05) Straight marriage will be less meaningful if gay marriage were allowed; the sanctity of Britany Spears' 55-hour just-for-fun marriage would be destroyed.

06) Straight marriages are valid because they produce children. Gay couples, infertile couples, and old people shouldn't be allowed to marry because our orphanages aren't full yet, and the world needs more children.

07) Obviously gay parents will raise gay children, since straight parents only raise straight children.

08) Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like ours, the values of one religion are imposed on the entire country. That's why we have only one religion in America.

09) Children can never succeed without a male and a female role model at home. That's why we as a society expressly forbid single parents to raise children.

10) Gay marriage will change the foundation of society; we could never adapt to new social norms. Just like we haven't adapted to cars, the service-sector economy, or longer life spans.

Anyway, I think I'm done now.


Jadzia, her wife, the children, the cats and assorted relatives who support us.

November 4th, 2005

Quotes and Writing and Fics, oh my

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The cure for writer's cramp is writer's block.
Inigo DeLeon

Greetings and Salutations :)

So I have this pretty good WIP going on - forty thousand words in about five days. I think that may be a personal best in terms of output. It's nearly finished - one more part and an epilogue to go. Then my muse went on vacation or mixed her liquors unwisely or got mono or something. So the Handle story is on hold. I had writer's cramp by the end of part four; seriously, my forearms were quivering from the strain and I had an odd tic under my left eye. Also, I'd run out of coffee and that's never a good sign.

So I shifted to housewife mode and cleaned the house, top to bottom. It takes about three hours, which tells you what a palatial estate I do NOT live in. Then I grocery shopped and did the mom thing. Oh, and I slept awhile. Then I opened the recalcitrant document...and stared at it, blankly.

I re read the first four parts, trying to get back into the proper mood. No dice. Fine, the intrepid writer decides, I'll just go work on the next installment of the Skills series. After all, the fabulous Ellie requested it, I love the series so far, and it's different from Handle in as many ways as possible. Piece of cake. Right? No.

So I figure I have writer's block. It happens. It's like performance anxiety in straight men, I think. Except, this time, I'm not blocked. I wrote an entirely new piece in one sitting, finished off two others that had been languishing for over a month, and started a fourth one, but closed it in disgust. I hope it's not gonna be another anti slash piece *shudders*. It begins, though, thusly: Ginny Weasley would make an eminently suitable wife. Harry Potter knew this. Yikes...where is this going?

Does anybody else write stories and have NO idea how they're going to turn out? I understand this concept better in so called 'mood pieces', but I've never quite understood how I can do that in a plotted story and have it make sense. Yet, most of the time, it does.

The difference between the right word and the almost right word is the difference between lightning and a lightning bug.
Mark Twain (1835 - 1910)

I've decided I need to expand my vocabulary. I'm not quite sure how to do this. Reading the dictionary seems like overkill. I have busloads of books in my cramped half office next to the kitchen in our 'cozy' little condo. I've taken to keeping Merriam Webster's online dictionary on my computer screen when reading, so I can look up words I'm not familiar with. I still find myself using similar descriptive words far too often in my writing.

This happens less in the pieces I'm working on that are not HP, though, so maybe it's an associated issue with writing fanfic as opposed to writing potentially saleable fiction. I don't know. At any rate, if anybody knows an efficient way to expand one's vocabulary, please comment and enlighten me.



Sometimes the mind, for reasons we don't necessarily understand, just decides to go to the store for a quart of milk.
Diane Frolov and Andrew Schneider, Northern Exposure, Three Doctors, 1993

Laura found that quote; I have adopted it. Poor thing needed me. *snicker*
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